


Things in the Dark

by JB_Hawke



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-26 08:34:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6231739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JB_Hawke/pseuds/JB_Hawke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the being shot in “Anslo Garrick,” Ressler considers a secret about his past.  Then, when he goes after Tanida, the FBI fires him.  Looking for answers and direction, he becomes Red's second bodyguard.  Ressler POV.</p><p>*Revised*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: This story was inspired by two fanfics, both can be found on ff dot net, Rinse and Repeat 3: The best laid plans by Chameleon2 (specifically a statement by Red at the end of chapter 21 regarding what would happen if Ressler was let go from the FBI) and Another pocket watch by Milena73.

It's hard to know exactly where a story begins, a thread can always be found that connects an event to something farther back. For Ressler, the easy answer was that his transition from FBI agent to criminal bodyguard began when Audrey was killed by Mako Tanida. Yet, it was because of Anslo Garrick coming for Red that Audrey had reentered his life at all. And it was because of his obsession with Reddington that she had left in the first place. So really, he could just keeping following the trail back to his childhood.

That was where the trail ended though, at least as far as what Ressler himself knew. His earliest memories were from when he was 3 years old. Anything before that was suspect because even though his parents had never told him, Donald knew that he was adopted. He had figured it out for himself in high school.

For biology class, every student was required to do a report on their family for the section on genetic inheritance. The idea was to roughly map out seven traits in at least ten blood relatives or partial information on fifteen, in order to find patterns of dominant and recessive genes. The traits were things like hair and eye colors, ear lobe attachment, the ability to roll your tongue, etc. Because he didn't have any siblings and only had one uncle, Don had to look at pictures of his grandparents and great-grandparents for the traits that could be established visually. Looking at the dominant characteristics that filled his ancestry, it seemed statistically unlikely that Don could have so many recessive traits, like his strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes. Even his teacher made a joke about him being adopted.

But already a budding investigator, Ressler didn't ask his parents about it directly. Rather he looked for evidence and was surprised by how much he found. There were not pictures of his mother pregnant nor of him as a child younger than two years. No book of baby's firsts. His parents' reasons for moving to such an out of the way town were contradicted several times by his uncle or his dad's boss. Ressler just pretended not to notice and his parents let it pass without comment. One day, after seeing a spy movie, he decided to snoop through their old papers to see if he could find some concrete proof.

It had to wait a few weeks until Mr. and Mrs. Ressler left for a weekend away and Don was left home alone. The minute they were out of the driveway, he began his search. Because he had to be careful to put everything back the way he found it, it took him the better part of the two days to find the proof he had been looking for. The smoking gun was in this case was a contract, stashed between old tax returns. The contents were in legal jargon. Near as Don could make out, his adoption hadn't been very official but his parents wanted to cover their asses in case the birth mother changed her mind. Except, according to this, whoever brokered the adoption (one Vladislav Petrov), swore the birth mother was dead and the father unknown. The only other interesting information was his birth name: Aleksey. No last name, but still, it stirred something inside him.

Don stuck to his plan of not confronting his parents. He didn't really know why. Keen would probably say it would make it “too real” if he had verbal confirmation. That explanation didn't feel quite right though. Maybe it was because he was never close with his family. Maybe it was because even after the cold war, an official background with a Russian name might interfere with his dreams of eventually making it in the FBI. Whatever the reason, he let it go, only now and then wondering about a baby boy named Aleksey and where he came from and what his life could've been like.

After graduation, Donald left town for college and never looked back. Things went the way he planned for the most part. Until the Reddington taskforce.

He had a chance for a happy life with Audrey. Then that damn taskforce assignment had come. Hunting down the FBI's number four most wanted had seemed like a God send at the time. If they had caught Reddington, it would have made his career. But they hadn't caught him. Audrey had left him. Then Red had just waltzed in, made a deal for immunity, and brought in Elizabeth Keen, in the process devaluing the last five years of Ressler's life.

He had done a damn good job of keeping things professional until Anslo Garrick invaded the Post Office. From the moment that Reddington made it clear he wasn't leaving the agent to die, Don had felt something different from the all encompassing disdain he had had for the older man. While he was lying in the hospital, his thoughts alternated between Red and Audrey. He really believed that Red cared when he asked about Audrey, that it wasn't just a technique to distract him from the perils of the blood transfusion.

Then Audrey, beautiful and sweet Audrey, had arrived and all other thoughts were forgotten. God, he had missed her. It was so good to see her even if she was engaged to another man. She stayed for awhile that day and visited again before he was discharged. She was all he could think about for days until Keen brought them the Good Samaritan case.

The victim's son, who it turned out was the real victim, reminded Don about his distance from his own parents. They were not abusive by any means, but they had always been cold compared to his friends' parents. They had very specific expectations of their only son, most of which he had fufilled. Was he just a trophy? The thought was off-putting. He wondered if this was how Keen felt when she wondered about her unknown past.

As it turned out, the excuse was easy. Audrey left her fiance for a second try with Don. The happiness he experienced at this turn of events almost took his mind off his questions. Almost, but not quite. Still, he felt a touch guilty using their resurrected relationship as the reason to spend the weekend at his parents. It ended up being a waste of time, any sense of true affection was absent. He returned home with Audrey and tried to put his family issues out of his mind.

Madeline Pratt showed up to distract them all with her embassy caper. And suddenly Liz Keen and her elusive past were again brought to the forefront. She all but admitted that she had been a thief, then showed off her pickpocket skills. It was strange how he could go from agitated and suspicious of her to offering to rough up her husband for her. In fact, he really wished he could have done more than listen when she admitted, “I think he's gonna leave me.” Regardless of apparently being framed by Reddington, Tom Keen rubbed him the wrong way. He thought about confiding his own problems to Liz that night but he didn't really know anything anyway.

I should talk to someone about this, he thought over and over again during the next few weeks. But as usual a case came up—The Judge. Even though in the end, Cooper proved to be innocent of sending the wrong man to execution, the case left a bad taste in Ressler's mouth. He knew there times when the law failed or fell short, but he was uncomfortable with the idea that Cooper would ignore the rules to do what he thought was necessary. And it made Don wonder what it would take for him to do the same. How easy would it be for him to become a vigilante?

Turned out he would find out before the month was over. Tanida. Audrey. Bobby. The memories were blurred together in his mind by pain and anger. The moment Audrey died in his arms, something began to break inside him. And when he learned the truth about Bobby, it snapped. He remembered his own words, “My greatest enemy brought her back to me. And my best friend took her away!”

If Keen hadn't shown up there was no doubt in his mind that he would have killed Jonica, the man he had thought his best friend. And sitting here, staring at his official termination notice from the Bureau, Don wished he had aimed his gun a little to the left when he emptied the clip. Audrey was gone. He had thrown away his career in pursuit of revenge. Sure, Bobby had committed suicide in the end, but it hadn't been on Don's terms. Although if Reddington was right, it wouldn't make Don feel any better if he had.

Reddington. He was the starting point for when Don's life started to go wrong. It should please him that he wouldn't have to deal with the man anymore. He could have a fresh start. No more chasing down Blacklisters to suit the needs of the Concierge of Crime. He should be relieved by the prospect. He should be, but he wasn't.

What the hell am I supposed to do about it though? The Bureau fired me. I can't just go to Reddington and say, 'Hey, got anyone for me to chase down? I've got no resources but I can't just sit around and let this go.' Yeah, sure. Unless...

He picked up his cell and dialled the number before he could overthink things. “Keen, I need a favor. I need to see him.”

She didn't seem to like the idea, but when he promised that he wasn't about to assassinate her CI, she gave in. A few minutes later, he got a text with a meeting time and place.

It was in public, a park bench. Perhaps Red was worried about his state of mind as well. They sat in silence for a few moments before the older man asked, “Well, Mr. Ressler, what is it I can do for you?” He wasn't surprised that Reddington already knew of his dismissal.

“Mr. Ressler,” Don chuckled bitterly, “that will take some getting used to.” He paused briefly before continuing. “You warned me what could happen when I went after Tanida, and you were right. I don't begrudge you that. But now here I am without a job, unable to let go of whatever the hell this is that you dragged us all into. The Blacklist. I want to stay involved, but I can't. Not, that is, unless I work for you.”

“Work for me?” Red appeared genuinely surprised by the possibility. “And what makes you think I have need of you? The FBI will surely fill your position on the taskforce.”

“Of course,” agreed Ressler, “and I wouldn't be shocked if you used the opening to get someone you want in. As for what need you have for me, you never took on a second bodyguard after Garrick...” he trailed off. He knew Red had been close with her.

The criminal informant cleared his throat. “Yes, that is true. I could use a second bodyguard. And there is a good chance that choosing you would annoy the FBI. But you would have to be party to various illegal activities and follow my orders without question.”

Don nodded solemnly. It would be difficult, but walking away from this now felt impossible. “As far as I can tell Dembe is a good man, despite the fact that he works for you.”

“He is a man of the highest character,” agreed Reddington. “Very well, Donald. Take the rest of the week for yourself. I will send a car for you on Monday and we'll discuss the details.”


End file.
